| i'm a mess i guess it's what i've asked for it's what i've needed. |
[18 Jul 2005|10:16pm] |
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Wowww.. when is the last time I've updated this thing?
I'm bored kinda at the moment and temporarily stuck in my house cause I'm lazy and also cause it's like monsooning outside.. hmm this would be good weather to dance in the rain I suppose? =) hah.. it's been so hot lately.. anyways. Things have been really pretty good lately.. ever since last weekend life has sort of a new perspective and I'm loving it so far, I'm not gonna lie. It takes some getting used to but I really can't complain.. I've got amazing people in life I really, really do. =) AHH I bought two turtles today!! First pet I've had in like a million years, pretty much ever.. gi and me bought them at the mall and they're so adorable.. I'm sorry I'm going on and on but it excites me. Anyways, life's consisted of work, softball (ALOT), friends, and just good stuff.
This is like so pointless so I'm gonna stop..
love you all have a nice rest of your monday
*
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| so keep the blood in your head and keep your feet on the ground. |
[07 Jul 2005|12:16am] |
sooooo * i leave tomorow for tec and i really am very excited. it's gonna be nice to get back to that atmosphere again.. i'm really looking forward to it-- especially since gina is gonna be there and debbie now too.. ahh prayers*. so not much has been happening lately out of the usual but i've grown quite accustomed to that, it's alright i guess.. not worth complaining =) the day consisted of babysitting alllll dayyyyy and then my game, which we won and are still undefeated YAY but i slid into third later in the game and since we wear those little green shorts, half of my ass skin is scraped off, you'd think it wouldn't hurt landing on all of that junk but it's pretty cut up, it's painful but funny as hell =) anyways i have to go do much preparing (packing) for leaving tomorow..... have a wonderful weekend everybody * i love you
;)
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| lights will guide you home and ignite your bones. |
[30 Jun 2005|12:34am] |
okay i don't know i'm just not in a very good mood right now.. eh idk. it's just one of those days where your thoughts catch up to you you know. got home from the weekend, which i might add was amaaaaazing. it seriously was and i am really happy with how it turned out. i love my friends so much... and i also love brody and i am determined to find him and make him my husband and make babies with him because seriously i have never seen somebody who was more gorgeous than that boy. anyyyway. kinda low key night tonight but that's been happening quite frequently lately what can you do. i came to the conclusion once again in my life that i am never gonna be good enough. i mean, i don't contribute much of anything and just kinda am 'there' there are always going to be so many people who are better than me in every sense of the word and i just find it hard to believe that anybody is ever going to be able to truly love me for me because 'me' is not worthy of much at all. i mean i don't know i guess i just miss being loved the way i used to and sure i might get lucky someday for a temporary moment but what can ya do. can't wait to go to the y tomorow... no matter how much i go you can't tell but i feel so much worse if i don't. don't you ever wish you could just look into a ball and see your future? where you'll be in 10.. 20.. 30 years? i mean it takes the surprise out of knowing what is in store for you in your life but other times i think i would be more comfortable knowing that/if i'll be okay ya know.. eh idk. i am gonna stop rambling it's just one of those nights and i know nobody reads this. i love you all.... i really, really do.
have a good night baby--
*
megbthisisforyouuuu
When you try your best, but you don't succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse
When the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
High up above or down below
When you too in love to let it go
If you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
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| ahhhhhhhhhhh. |
[23 Jun 2005|01:14pm] |
WE LEAVE TOMORROWWWWW I am sooo excited. I don't think it's hit me yet that we are leaving but I am sure that it's gonna be great. I just can't wait to get down there and meet people and just be with everybody. Anyway things have been alright lately.. pretty much go through the same routine everyday but I'm not complaining yet. Work, softball, tec stuff, going to the y everyday even though you'd never be able to tell, and just being with friends ya know. It's such a gorgeous day out today sorry I'm being random but it's absolutely beautifullll... Umm so today consists of Y with taylor and packing and working and packing and doses of nyquil cause I won't be able to get to sleep.. Katie left me all week and I've only been able to see her once within the last like week or so and it's been terriblee =( I can't wait till she comes back I miss my shmadeypoo. Alright so I am gonna go eat a banana and take a shower.. Have a great day everybody I LOVE YOU
sowhatthehellamisupposetodoyouonlywantedthethingsicouldntgivetoyou
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| life is a highway i wanna ride it all night long. |
[17 Jun 2005|07:12pm] |
So havent written in this thing in a while..... not really much has gone on. Still just working and playing softball and chilling with everybody... it's nice to just relax which I find myself doing alot or at least trying to. Dad's two weeks of being out of town are now over.... he got home for good today which I was sort of happy for so that I dont have to take responsiblity for the little one. GOT MY HURR DID TODAY it looks as nice as it possibly can I guess, cant make something ugly pretty but its a nice touch, it's somewhat darker which i think i needed. I guess my main focus right now is STEUBENVILLE IN A WEEK FROM TODAY that really excites the hell out of me because I really think that I need it. Some time to get away and clear my head and just BE. Im going to be honest when I say that I havent been in the best shape lately because of chains of events that have happened but I mean... I dont know. there is only so much you can do about certain things.. I just hate the feeling of having to wonder if I will ever be totally content with my life again. Probably just one of those moods but Ive been scaring myself even.. my inner demons are going NUTS lol when me and kel and meg watched the notebook I cried WAY TOO EXCESSIVELY and I think Im just rrrreally emotional lately but time heals all things. I AM DONE RAMBLING you all have a nice and fun weekend...... I love you all
<3
just say how to make it right
and i swear i'll do my best to comply
tell me am i right to think
that there could be NOTHING BETTER.
****
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| i need the smell of summer i need its noises in my ear. |
[08 Jun 2005|10:29pm] |
SUMMERRRRR>..
Hmm summer has been pleasant so far.. I am definately enjoying the aspect of no school and being able to sleep until whenever I want and come home whenever I want. Been spending quality time with the bestest's which has been good. It's also been absolutely beautiful out which is amazing. Don't really know what the point of this update is.... but I am bored and just sayin hi. I'm gonna go kadence is on her way overrr...... love ya all.
so keep the blood in your head and keep your feet on the ground and as the day gets tired that's the day we drop down give up my body and bed all for an empty hotel wasting words on lowercases and capitals.>/b>
I lovvve you-*
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| always up or down never down and out. |
[03 Jun 2005|07:40am] |
Heyyy well TODAY IS OUR LAST DAY OF SCHOOL..... I cannotttt believe that we are actually gonna be seniors once 1:20 comes.. This is crazy it really doesn't feel real yet, it does not feel like it's summer at all, but once it hits home.. baby I am so pumped. I can't wait to be free from school and just hang out, it's gonna be great let's pray. So today are my last finals, screw it, I really don't care at all anymore. Whatever happens happens.... I'm well overdue on school. This weekend is gonna probably be up in the air too.. Tonight is that thing for fr. tony and then don't know what the hell I am doing after that, tomorow work, sunday I give my talkkkk ehh I am nervous for that pray for me. Yesterday I went with meg to get her industrial pierced and it looks amaaaaaazing.... really it does.. =) I can't wait until august 10th field day for me!!! I need to get my hair done soon my roots are bad. Alrite sorry I'm done talkin outta my ass.. have a good weekend all and ENJOYYYYY the start to summer!! love you beautiful
<3
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| i know if only you were here things would be more radical. |
[31 May 2005|07:53pm] |
So this week has basically been an overwhelming one so far but that is predictable. Only three more days of being a junior.... I am gonna be SO relieved when this year is finally over. Even though it's one step closer to the 'real life' it's still gonna be a weight lifted off the good old shoulders.
This weekend was actually a really good one... love it. Saturday I worked of course then went out with a new friend, saw david at the movies and was pumped. It actually was a really funny movie. Sunday I went to visit meg up at work then went to her house later with kel and tay and cassie.. It was nice to spend some time. We watched titanic, and it's all my fault, lol.. I had a weeping session which was REALLY weird.
Monday I got to go to the beachhhhhouse, there is nothing better than that. Got to spend some good time and go out on the water, it was a beautiful day just all around. The whole entire huge family was there and I even got to see ESSJAYYYY and MASAMI.. man was that a pleasant surprise!! Way to top off the weekend.
Did I study at all? Of course not and I'm totally fine with that. So I'm gonna get to that now. Have a good week everybody.... three days left..
Love you<3
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| if only you were here right now would be more magical. |
[25 May 2005|11:03pm] |
So this week has been decent.. not much going on besides school and work and that usual stuff.. Had my first TEC meeting and as far as I can tell I am real pumped about it. Softball started too and that has been good so far. Tonight I went up to the deli to see kateeee and the rest of the gang and that was fun, then on a spur of the moment I got to go to the beach with lauren to watch the sunsetttttt and let me tell you it was GORGEOUS. Ahh there is nothing better than nights like that. Umm so not much else going on right now that is worth talking about.. Lots of things I am frustrated over and skeptical about but things will fall into place I guess. Alrite I am gonna go watch SVU. Love you brotherssss
You promised me starry night skies
They just remind me of your shinning bright eyes
I'm missing your voice at night time
This sepa-separation seem-seems a sad crime
B-b-b-but dont dont dont think think that i forgot you you you are are are oh so sweet uh- i i i -
i know If only you were here
things would be more magical
If i were there
Right now would be more radical
You're so not near
I'm wishing I could place a call
and feel closer to you Oh
Miles of air and road and land
They separate me from all my plans
Were havin' havin' havin' havin' fun
But something something tells me I miss someone
i hope hope hope you didn't forget me I couldn't
Forget you the whole time I always knew
I knew If only you were here
things would be more magical
If i were there
Right now would be more radical
You're so not near
I'm wishing I could place a call
and feel closer to you Oh
Say that youre into me, let me know how it will be
If you dont know just say so
Ill wait till the perfect time think of all the perfect lines
Ill make sure if i let you know
We've got movies on our list to see
Things to do just you and me
Calls to make from here to there and back
Weve got fun to have and days to spend
Stars to see or just pretend
At least for now just keep things right on track
Say that your into me, let me know how it will be
If you dont know just say so
Ill wait till the perfect time to think of all the perfect lines
Ill make sure if i let you know
Say that your into me, let me know how it will be
If you dont know dont say so
Ill wait till the perfect time to think of all the perfect lines
Ill make sure if i let you know
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| hold your head high heavy heart and save this drink for the morning after. |
[22 May 2005|07:38pm] |
Might as well talk about the week/weekend.. the week took FOREVER at school. It really did.. but there's only like less than ten days left so I guess that's a bright side. Got to beach it with lauren thurs =) even though it kinda was raining out.. that is the best escape, we always have a great time. Friday I went to the Y and did a few things and then went out with meg-- we went to a place Johnny Mango's or something in dtw and it kinda was interesting, then we went to her house and chilled, tried watching in and out, lol, and it was just a great night. I love her. Saturday I went to lunch with kate to our date spot and that was amazing, we got to eat outside. (!) Went to confirmation for rosie and eileen, and it turned out to go really well. We went out to eat after and I just love that family. Then chilled at home for a little while and got to go to the BEACH HOUSE ahhhh..... PARADISE it was SO good to be out there. Had alot of fun last night and today was just gorgeous. SO nice to get away. So now I've gotta start all this damn homework, but I will be the first to admit, I have actually been reading our book for the turoczy final. The catcher in the rye.. it's really good.. I am surprised as hell that I actually opened it. Makes you think. Realized that I don't really have alot to contribute in almost every situation, I am nothing that stands out, I'm just there for the ride and dead air. I don't know. Can't do anything about certain things I guess. Ummmmm so I am gonna go you all have a great week.
<3.
i had the notion that you'd make me change my ways my bad habits would be gone in a matter of days i had the feeling that you'd open up my eyes to a whole new world that had since been in disguise but that day will most likely never come for me and it's just my luck to end up getting stuck to everything you are.
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[17 May 2005|06:13pm] |
;lakfjd;alkfjaepoiraa
I am so frustrated
umm
have a good day.
with this being said
every petal's come off again
and fell to the floor
every word again
it's not like it ever meant
everything we'd hoped
all these said
every word again
it's never been harder to fall
there's nothing to grab and that's
all i want to hold onto
just another sweep and it'll be fine
but this carpet's got hills and i
can't see this helping at all
throw away what you say
well then watch it all wash away
will it wash ashore
who'd have thought it could float
even grow enough to make its own
way back alone
all these said
every word again
it's never been harder to fall
there's nothing to grab and that's
all i want to hold onto
just another sweep and it'll be fine
but this carpet's got hills and i
can't see this helping at all
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| ;aljdaf;ljasfa |
[13 May 2005|02:09pm] |
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HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY KELLY!!!!
love you so damn much, have an amazinggggg birthday =)
alrite all of you have a nice weekend too. i'm done.
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| so. |
[12 May 2005|11:06pm] |
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so. ive realized some things lately. some good, some bad. i think that alot of the emotions that have been coming to me are a result of all the stress that comes with the end of the year and school and work and all that crap. but idk. i hate the feeling of having to question people and their motives. there are few people i am sure of, and i just dont know why people can just be real and not so uptight and crap all the time. you only live once, and every moment that you spend not as happy as you can be is a moment that you will never be able to get back. why waste your time being anything less than what you want or just being carefree and not letting every little thing get to you. accept things the way they are because questioning and chasing for answers is just gonna wind you up hurting yourself. ive realized that i am never going to be able to get what i want because those things are beyond my control. i am not use to having it be that way and i hate growing used to it. idk... i am rambling about nothing but idk. i need to go write my tec witness because there is so much i want to say and it is driving me crazy. this weekend is uncertain so far-- but sunday is cedar point and i am SO unbelivably excited about that its CRAZY. im a cedar point virgin but the biggest roller coaster fan ever and it's gonna be a good day i presume. alrite homies peace out (/ha/) and take care. <3.
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| for all of this i'm better off without you. |
[07 May 2005|02:29pm] |
So the past few days have overall been pretty good. Happy that the school week is over, for some reason this week took SOOO long. All I've had time for so far this weekend is the 18 hour Relay for Life, which was honestly awesome. It was nice to spend time with everybody.. I was getting sicker and sicker as the night went on but I'm a trooper, although I did sleep in my car. I'm bout to go waitress for seven hours running on two hours of sleep.. it's fine. So it was nice.. a good cause and emotions were stirring and it was just nice to be surrounded by people. Tonight I'm working then not sure what.. probably am gonna be too tired to do anything extreme, we'll see. Alrite I know this entry was pointless but I gotta jet. GOOD TUNE:
all we ever wanted was love and love and happy afternoons
watching tv from your room while you're laying in my arms
and i know it's not fair to me
to see your smile walk right by me everyday
will.we.ever.meet.the.right.way.?
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| you love me but you don't know who i am. |
[03 May 2005|11:10pm] |
Well, in the end my friend, we will all be together again
Clutching onto my hand, in a valley we'll stand, I'm just living again
In a while we'll smile, march on another mile
On hallowed hills, attached to the land we'll be still
No one's ever gonna say a thing
And we'll be together, together again
Take it on to the city on down
Just a while ago my soul was confused, amused at what it did not know
Days went by, and amusement cried, I decide to let
My soul fly on by itself, pick happiness up and bring it back to my shelf
We'll be okay one day, in a valley we will stay
No more moving on
I knew it was right here all along
Won't have to hold your crown, no more looking around
Just holding ya tight, in the city on down
Just a while ago my soul was confused, amused at what it did not know
Days went by and amusement cried
I decide it's time, got to move on now
I was so scared
I was frightened, somewhat enlightened
So I changed my shoes
Now I walk through a valley of color, much better than the other
Way I did not know, now we can be united,
Miracle, miracle sighted, and I'm pulling it in
I know by now we can walk together at a regular speed
Do you dare to be excited, are you aware somewhat delighted?
Are you aware somewhat delighted?
At what you did not know
Take it on to the city on down
I've recently discovered that OAR is amazing, and their music puts me in such a good mood. For some reason. I don't know. This is pointless but hey you know you like it.
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| aicha aicha my my my. |
[01 May 2005|10:19pm] |
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Everytimeyoulookinthemirrordoyouwanttosmashitrealfast?
causeido.
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| im willing to break myself to shake this hell from everything i touch. |
[01 May 2005|01:23pm] |
.... she'll let you in her house if you come knocking late at night, she'll let you in her mouth if the words you say are right. if you pay the price she'll let you deep inside but there's a secret garden she hides. she'll let you in her car to go driving around, she'll let you into the parts of herself that'll bring you down. she'll let you in her heart if you got a hammer and a vise, but into her secret garden don't think twice. you've gone a million miles, how far'd you get? to that place where you can't remember and you can't forget. she'll lead you down a path, there'll be tenderness in the air. she'll let you come just far enough so you know she's really there. then she'll look at you and smile and her eyes will say, she's got a secret garden where everything you want, where everything you need will always stay.. a million miles away.
*
bruce springsteen- secret garden
one of my moms favorite songs and i just love it.. so today going to kohls with kate then off to the Y to busttttt my rear end then we'll see what happens.. have a nice day everybody it's BEAUTIFUL finally
Love you
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| why oh why wear sunglasses in the home when the sun went down about an hour ago. |
[29 Apr 2005|01:46pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 pessimistic |
] |
Umm.. I don't really have tons to say.. but I'm sitting here so what the hell. No school today, which is extremely nice.. These past few weeks have been really hectic so it's really nice to just get a break. Only about a month or so left so that's a plus. I'm so amped for summer.. only thing holding me back is getting in shape for it, I'm gonna be heading to the Y in a few so I guess that's all I can do right now. CAN'T WAIT to have sunsets at the beach.. oh yes. So last night had to work, made a good $80 so that's okay for a thursday night I guess. Wanted to go to kent and spend time with kate and kellie but that didn't end up working.. I was upset but there wasn't much I could do about it. Stopped at kel's and then me and kelly and meg and taylor went to denny's and spent some quality time as always. Woke up this morning and went to the tatoo place with andy and meghan so she could get her little thing on her ear pierced.. it looks SO cute, I can't wait till I'm 18 in a few months so I can have a field day on my body maybe. Right so today I don't know what's going on yet, we'll see.. Call my cell if you'd like.. I hope it gets nicer out :/ Have a great weekend.
<3.
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| right. |
[25 Apr 2005|10:57pm] |
I found this picture (my user picture) and thought it was adoooorable.... I didn't put it there cause I'm able to EVER have ANYTHING like that (ha) but I just thought it was cute.
cause i'm a wishful thinker with the worst intentions
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| if you want to i can save you. |
[25 Apr 2005|12:13pm] |
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So I'm sitting here in the library during study hall cause I'm sweet like that of course.. I've got a meghan on both sides of me and yeah. This weekend was fine.. didn't really do anything too exciting.. I'd have to say that the high point was friday night with kel and meg, and being able to see tony-- that was absolutely amazing even though he got here kinda late. But it was nice. Umm.. I made $112 on sat. night in tips, I was proud of myself =) ha yeah umm right. I've got so much work to catch up on it's crazy. Tonight I have to work then I am hoping to take katie out for her birthday.. so in the mean time..
HAPPY 17th BIRTHDAY KATIE!!!!!!!!
I love my shmadence.. Happy Birthday =)
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| for the first time i know this is now who i am. |
[21 Apr 2005|10:47pm] |
Well.... in a nutshell.. today started out totally different than it ended. Things weren't going so great, but seemed to get better as the day progressed..
School was fine. It was meg d's bday, didn't really get to see her much cause she was on a field trip but we decked out her locker and all, I love her.
After school I went to the Y with fuschia.. felt SOOOO good to be able to out and burn some calories. Summer is TOOOO.CLOSEEEE. Went to eat on a date with my dad, went to walmart to run some errands, and headed to go out with lauren >>mylove<< we got our coffee and TRIED once again to head to the beach to watch the sunset but the damn thing was CLOSED. Right.. but we had a good talk as always and I just LOVE that girl.
The day turned a total 180. It started off really bad cause I'm stupid, but I am really happy right now because I'm beginning to grow deeper into a friendship with somebody and who.can't.love.that.
I'm just happy right now.. which is good.. because I don't think I've been up to the plate so much lately because of reasons we won't discuss. But I'm good right now. =).
I don't know..
This entry was probably pointless but NOBODY READS THIS ANYWAYS! ha. right.
Alrite I'm bout to go attempt to learn pira.
I love you all......
<3//
oh and p.s. I just want to say:
HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY TO MEGHAN DIMATTIA!!!!!
I love you sososososososoooooo much--
k I'm done bye.
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| baaaaah says frank. |
[20 Apr 2005|09:41am] |
So yes ladies and gentlemen my journal looks amazinggggggg and it's all thanks to essjay, my love bucket =) I love her so much and she made it beautifulllll.
Umm I can't say that I've enjoyed how life has been lately but I can say that I'm trying to learn to deal with it and some things are just out of your control. Thank GOD I'm surrounded by the people I'm surrounded by or else I'd be screweddddd. I dunno. Just been kinda topsy turvy lately but what can ya do.
It's getting nicerrrrr and nicer out and I am getting so amped.. I am gonna have to be heading to the Y more and more cause I am DEFINATELY not ready yet. We'll see.
Umm right
Peace out homies (//ha//) have a nice night.
<3.
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[07 Apr 2005|03:55pm] |
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you would kill for this
just a little bit
just a little bit
you would kill for this
sing like you think no one's listening
sing me something soft
sad and delicate
loud and out of key
sing me anything*
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| she said dont dont let it go to your head. |
[04 Apr 2005|09:58pm] |
Umm so right today was kinda screwed up.... woke up at like 7 to see that the power was off, then got a call saying there was no school-- I won't complain man. Went back to bed seriously till like 130, lol, it was beautiful to sleep that long-- I've been on a rampage lately I think I'm like, worn out but hey whatever. So chilled around the house, went to lunch with my love, ran some errands for my dad, got to see katieeeeeee FINALLY it was so good to see her she is definately a negro that's for sure. Umm saw her, went to work, went back to katie's, came home, and now I should be doing my english project that's due FRIDAY but have I really started yet noooooo. But it's fine I guess. I'll maybe just not go to school friday, lol. We'll see. Right so I am gonna try to do some of this.... now that the power comes back on about 2 hours ago after going off at 5am-- I'll cya all tomorow.
peace out homies
ha.//]]
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| pointless. |
[03 Apr 2005|02:02pm] |
i'm just bored so i'm gonna talk in here right. umm. yesterday was good i got to go out with my tay and michael-- it was so much fun, i love them. not really much was going on last night. i'm excited.. katie's home today from her cruise.. i've missed herrrr. today i'm gonna head to the Y cause didn't get to go yesterday.. if anybody has anything going on tonite give my cell a call.
have a good day loves--
*
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| right. |
[02 Apr 2005|01:21pm] |
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since i havent updated since march 31st:::::
HAPPY BIRTHDAY
britt :)
and
lauren :)
I love you girls to DEATH and I hope you had a GREAT day--
<3.
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| i want you but i'm not giving in this time. |
[02 Apr 2005|01:08pm] |
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Soooo right.. two more days and spring break is over.. that's crazy it's gone so fast but how can you expect any different. We were so pissed when we woke up this morning to see it SNOWING.. it drives me crazy it's been so beautiful too.
Umm not too much has happened since the last time I updated. Thurs I worked of course, then headed to andy's.. that was fun it was nice to see everybody-- took a few rides on his computer chair and that was so, so much fun I know I'm so easily amused but hey it's fine. Also was dropped on the floor lol man we were just all over the place. Went home.. went to the Y again yesterday then to work then to enclave (but of course) and saw some people I havent seen in a LONG time-- that was nice. Umm. Hung out for a while, went to dennys with the girls, and FINALLY got to sleep at megs again for the first time in too long.. that was so nice man yeah. Watched the ring for the first time cause me and kel have never seen it and umm had some interesting times and it was just so much fun like hanging out with them. Love it.
So today Im bout to head to the Y with tay and then we hope to be going out with mike..... ahh that'd be awesome so I'll talk to all you guys later enjoy the shitty weather.
umm ya
I can't imagine all the people that you know and the places that you go when the lights are turned down low and I don't understand all the things you've seen but I'm slipping in between you and your big dreams It's always you in my big dreams
And then you bring me home cause we both know what it's like to be alone and I'm dreaming in your living room but we don't have much room to live--.
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| but i will follow anyone who brings me to you. |
[30 Mar 2005|03:00pm] |
Sooooo this update is gonna be totally pointless I can tell you that right now..
Umm I just got muh hair done and its alot lighter, I like it.. Takes some getting use to I guess but Im gonna need to be a little bronzer if my hair is gonna be this light.. sure. It's fine I guess.
Been working pretty much everyday this wk and definately havent started the turoczy paper yet, but that's fine too.. it's getting wayyyyy too nice outside to be worrying about that stupid paper AHH I just want school to be overrr.
Tay and me have been going to the Y like everyday too.. Im really trying to get my ass into shape since summer is gonna be here in a few months, so let's hope that this all keeps up.. we've got a plan lol it's very very nice except today I am sore as a motherrr and I don't know how I'm gonna waitress tonight if I can barely walk but it's fine.
Break has been pretty low key.. I mean we know where we are gonna end up every single night so I don't know why we pretend we will find something else, lol, but I mean hey it's who you're with not what you're doing right?? I'm enjoying myself just being with my friends and not having to worry about school.. and I am deffffffinately enjoying the BEAUTIFUL weather I really hope it stays like this.
Alrite I am gonna go spiffy myself up for work I will talk to you all later.
Peace out homeslices.
ha
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| bored. |
[20 Mar 2005|02:56pm] |
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Name Four Bad Habits You Have:
oo1. Procrastinating
oo2. Being lazy
oo3. Being loud
oo4. and stupid.
Name Four Scents You Love:
oo1. Cologne
oo2. Lilu!! My new perfume yum.
oo3. August
oo4. Grandma's homemade Italian meals
Name Your Top Four TV Shows:
oo1. Real World
oo2. Law and Order SVU
oo3. Cold Case
oo4. I dunno I watch mtv too much
Name Your Top Four Movies:
oo1. Remember the Titans
oo2. The Lion King
oo3. The Sandlot
oo4. Napoleon
Name Four Things You Are Thinking About Now:
oo1. All the homework I have to do..
oo2. ..
oo3. ..
oo4. I don't know.
Name Four Things That You Have Done Today:
oo1. Church
oo2. Errands with dad
oo3. Shower
oo4. Play around on the computer cause I'm sweet
Name Four Drinks You Regularly Drink:
oo1. Water
oo2. Milk
oo3. Coffee
oo4. Crystal Light
Name Four Things That Disgust You:
oo1. Feet
oo2. ..
oo3. Throw up
oo4. Spiders and other gross stuff
Name Five Things That Impress You:
oo1. Dedication
oo2. Love
oo3. Passion
004. My friends and my family.
First best friend: Mi madre
First car: Stickshift minivan.. lol, wasn't really mine but that's how I learned.
First break-up: Nick, hahahaha
First screen name: Something really werid I cant remember that far back
First self purchased album: Celine Dion, lol
First funeral: My grandpa
First pets:: First pet and only pet.. Gus my hamster
First piercing/tattoo: Ears when I was in like 5th grade
First credit card: Still haven't had one, use dads
First true love: hahaha
First enemy: ??
First big trip: I was like 6, went to Niagra Falls or something like that probably
Last cigarette: ??
Last car ride: Today to store/cemetary
Last good cry: I don't know.
Last library book checked out: something on the civil war
Last movie seen: Happy Gilmore on tv
Last beverage drank: Milk
Last food consumed: Grapes
Last crush: nuh uhhhhh.
Last phone call: Like an hour ago
Last time showered: Today
Last shoes worn: Clog mocasin things, you know what Im talking about
Last item bought: Some stuff at the grocery store.
Last annoyance: myself
Last time wanting to die: Uh?
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| will we ever meet the right way. |
[20 Mar 2005|02:48pm] |
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umm blah.. nothing really new at all. just been hanging around taking everything in.. been sick the last two or three days my throat is throbbing and ive been throwing up and stuff, ill spare you the details i dont even know why im saying this, lol. last night went to the grand auction and my major role was just a ride home for my dad, didnt really feel good but i mean it was fine. this wk is gonna be hopefully fast, only 3 days of school and then its spring break-- probably only will be working and doing this damn turoczy project, but hey its fine. idk im gonna go though have a good wknd everybody. When I close my eyes to this paradox place
ill fly away far away from here
I’ll get away and dream,
dream of you.
when its all said and done
and the night has come,
ill disappear
take flight on the wind of wishing you where here,
fading light like a star whose life has been gone for years
and I'll fly,
fly across the sky,
and I’ll leave,
leave it all behind,
if you’d be here,
here with me tonight,
I’ll be fine.
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| yo yo yo what up home slice. |
[16 Mar 2005|12:49pm] |
Umm Im sitting here again on another merry day of turocz.. Im thinking that our new computer should be coming within the next couple days so hopefully Ill be back soon.. eh. So yeah I dont even know what is going on lately Im just so stressed out with everything.. school, relay for life, home, family, work, all this church stuff, friends, I dunno.. only a few more months for the gist of things I guess. Umm so yeah tomorow no school Im really excited about that although I probably wont end up doing anything. HAPPY ST PATTYS DAY YAY. Im irish boy oh boy. So I want ___
yeah I really want _______
Im gonna fly away like a bird in the sky
HaHaHaHaHaHaHaHa
by the way
HAPPY BIRTHDAY YESTERDAY ANDY and HAPPY BIRTHDAY TWO DAYS AGO MEL
I love you all dearly.
peace out home slices.
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| you make me wanna la la haha. |
[14 Mar 2005|10:00am] |
So Im sitting here in the library during turoczys class.. Im gonna update seeing how my computer at home is totally demolished because of my fathers incapability to understand that if something asks you if youre over 18 to say no. umm yeah so nothing really is new at all lately.
All Ive been doing is going to school and going to work.. eh yeah gets kind of repetitive but you gotta do what you gotta do.
Umm yeah me and megs wishful thinker club is more in session than ever I swear to God Im about to burst I just need something so bad and I know exactly what I want and I know exactly how bad it feels not having a chance
alfkja;slfkja!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Umm ya so I just saw the most meaningful and amazing pictures in the world of jamie and lauren and maeve pretending to be aliens killing eachother. gotta love it. umm ya
this wknd was kind of pointless
like this entry. im just bored
umm okay Im gonna go to spare you all
I love you all and Ill have a new computer soon so Ill be back
peace out homies
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| why cant you just let this be your sun. |
[22 Feb 2005|08:37pm] |
Procrastinatingggggg for piczer's project..
Really hate him right now, but hey--
Weekend was fine, worked.. alot.. had some interesting times too.
Umm havent really been great lately but I wont complain.. Ill find a way always do..
I love you
Im just really bored, excuse this entry.
Im gonna go eat some cereal-- night.
waiting for the rain to stop destinations beautiful why cant you just let this be your sun
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| to be where you are. |
[15 Feb 2005|09:30pm] |
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO JAMIE!!!!!!
You are the love of my life and you deserve the best birthday ever.
HAPPY 17TH!!!!!:):):):)
<3.
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| just cause you all want to know so much about me. |
[08 Feb 2005|09:33pm] |
I AM GONNA GO WITH THE TREND AND DO THIS DAMN SURVEY!!!!! SO YEAH.
Here you go.
Ten Layers Of Me
L A Y E R ONE:
-- Name: Dana Marie Colacarro
-- Birthday: August 10, 1987
-- Birthplace: Euclid, Ohio
-- Current Location: Mentor, Ohio
-- Eye Color: Eh brown.
-- Hair Color: Black sorta with other light colors in it.
-- Height: 5'6
-- Righty Or Lefty: Rightyyyyy.
L A Y E R TWO
-- Your Heritage: Irish, Polish, German, French, and mostly Italian
-- The Shoes You Wore Today: Flip flops.... what else.
-- Your Weakness: Haha.
-- Your Fears: Rejection, failure.
-- Your Perfect Pizza: White pizza with black olives.
-- Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: Umm..
L A Y E R THREE
--Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: Haha.
-- Your Thoughts First Waking Up: Damn.
-- Your Best Physical Feature: Don't have a single one.
-- Your Bedtime: Umm whenever I am tired basically.
-- Your Most Missed Memory: Mom. And other stuff.
L A Y E R FOUR: This Or That
-- Pepsi Or Coke: Pepsi... the joy of cola.
-- McDonald's Or Burger King: Trying to make it neither, but most likely McDonald's.
-- Single Or Group Dates: HAHA CAN'T GET EITHER!
-- Lipton Ice Tea Or Nestea: Don't like ice tea unless it's raspberry.
-- Chocolate Or Vanilla: Chocolate, but preferrably both.
-- Cappuccino Or Coffee: BOTH..... LOVE coffee. Love it.
L A Y E R FIVE: Do You. ..
-- Smoke: No.
-- Cuss: Unfortunately.
-- Sing: Hahahaha yeeeah.
-- Take A Shower Everyday: Mhmm.
-- Do You Think You've Been In Love: No.
-- Want To Go To College: Yes.
-- Liked High School: Yes I like it.
-- Want To Get Married: Haha yeah of course, if I can.
-- Believe In Yourself: Uhh.
-- Get Motion Sickness: No.
-- Think You're Attractive: No.. not even a little bit.
-- Think You're A Health Freak: Haha use to be.. should be now.
-- Get Along With Your Parents: LOVE my dad. LOVE him.
-- Like Thunderstorms: Depends on the mood.
-- Play An Instrument: Violin for 3 yrs.. good days.
L A Y E R SIX: In The Past Month...
-- Drank Alcohol: Umm maybe.
-- Smoked: No.
-- Done A Drug: If that includes my face pills.
-- Gone On A Date: HAHA. Everyday.
-- Gone To The Mall: Yes.
-- Eaten An Entire Box Of Oreos: Nope.
-- Eaten Sushi: Nope.
-- Been On Stage: No.
-- Been Dumped: No.
-- Gone Skinny Dipping: Nope..
-- Stolen Anything: Nope.
L A Y E R SEVEN: Ever...
-- Been Trashed Or Extremely Intoxicated: Umm.
-- Been Called A Tease: HAHA yeeeeeeah look at me.
-- Gotten Beaten Up: Haha yeah not for real though.
-- Shoplifted: ?
L A Y E R EIGHT
-- How Do You Want To Die: Out of my control.. I want it to be painless though.
-- What Do You Want To Be When You Grow Up: No idea.. probably something with nursing.
-- What Country Would You Most Like To Visit: ANYWHERE.. Probably Europe/Italy.
L A Y E R NINE: In a guy/girl...
-- Best Eye Color: I am a sucker for eyes.. anything as long as they're beeeeeautiful.
-- Best Hair Color: ?
-- Short Or Long Hair: Probably shorter but I really don't care.
-- Height: TALLER.THAN.ME.
-- Best Weight: Doesn't matter.
-- Best article of clothing: ?? At this point with my guys, I can be anything but picky.
L A Y E R TEN
-- Number Of Drugs Taken: Pills for my necessary needs, haha.
-- Number Of People I Could Trust With My Life: Few.
-- Number Of CDs That I Own: Lots.
-- Number Of Piercings: One on each ear.
-- Number Of Tattoos: None.
-- Number Of Things In My Past That I Regret: TBA.
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| shakin like a dog shittin razorblades. |
[07 Feb 2005|11:05pm] |
So yeah haven't really had an update in here lately that wasn't like.. a song. Haven't been up to much.. at all. School, work, and no time for anything else. Hey, not like I have a life anyway. Umm.. I don't even know what to say.
I'm real disgusted in myself and the way my life is going right now, but there's not much you can do about that.
I am realizing who really matters and what is a waste of time.. I've been through enough to have come out of it having learned something.
This journal entry is TOTALLY pointless lol but hey I can't make my life exciting.
I miss you..
I'm gonna go cause SVU is on soon.
<3 you all.
ehh.......
This delicate balance.. vulnerable all knowing
You would kill for this, just a little bit, just a little bit, you would kill for this**
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| ahhhhhhhhh. |
[06 Feb 2005|03:37pm] |
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I know it's dark here, you know that I'm scared too
For some reason right now, of everything but you
Right now you're all that I recognize
You know I came here when I needed your soft voice
I needed to hear something that sounded like an answer
Now I wait here, and sometimes I get one
It's nothing I'll forget when the moon gets tired
You are stuck to me everyday
Believe in what I am because it's all I have today
And tomorrow who knows where we'll be
From here I can hardly see a thing
But I will follow anyone who brings me to you
For now, forever, for on and on and on
You know it starts here, outside waiting in the cold
Kiss me once in the snow, I swear it never gets old
But I will promise you I can make it warmer next year
You know I came here when I needed your soft voice
I needed to hear something that sounded like an answer
Now I stay here, and everyday I get one
It's nothing I'll forget when the moon gets tired
You are stuck to me everyday
Believe in what I am because it's all I have today
And tomorrow who knows where we'll be
From here I can hardly see a thing
But I will follow anyone who brings me to you
For now, forever, for on and on and on
So go plug in your electric blanket
We can stay in 'till our southern summer wedding day
Go plug in your electric blanket
We can stay here
aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
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| but i can always be wrong. |
[02 Feb 2005|08:57pm] |
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I'm wishing my life away on you
On promises you couldn't keep
And everyday is all the same
Won't you waste your life on me?
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| with birds i share this lonely view. |
[23 Jan 2005|08:34pm] |
Umm so yeah. Don't really have too much to say. I can't say that I've been at my best lately but what can you do about it. I've just been learning alot lately.. about life, about myself, about everything.. which I guess is good but sometimes harsh realities just suck. No sense in dwelling on it. Yeah I'm gonna stop talking out of my ass now so the weekend was fine.. Fri went to get em and we went to the game, came home and hung out with kate and went to bed. Sat worked but we got to close early cause it was so terrible out, yeah spun out JUST a couple times. Today was time for gmas and it was nice.. gotta love that crazy Italian family. Umm yeah so the weekend basically didn't consist of too much but I am not complaining.
Ehh..... I hate not having control..
"It's hard to wait around for something that you don't even know will happen.. but it's even harder to stop waiting when you know it's everything you want."
I'm gonna go to bed. Eh. Have a great night everybody. I love you all. And I promise next update won't be so effed up. Haha.
Nite.<3.
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| a failed attempt to capsulize a feeling. |
[16 Jan 2005|01:24pm] |
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Sure. Umm.. nothings really new happening lately. Realizing how extremely much my friends mean to me and over the course of some time Im beginning to see more in depth of what really matters. I am not gonna even get into talking about stuff like this for the sake of you all but I dont know. Thursday was the end of finals which was amazing. Friday was amazing-- simply amazing. Im trying to remember what happened. I woke up.. went to fridays with em cause she had a gift certificate and we got our traditional cheesecake. Went to starbucks with kate which was really nice to talk and have a cup of jo. Then came home and got ready and kelly and meg picked me up.. it sucks even talking about what happened that night cause I want to be back there so bad I miss the feeling. Got to see everybody and spend some quality time, but of course it wasnt long enough. It sucked coming home so bad.. eh I dont want to think about it just gotta look forward to the next time something like that happens and I pray that it will. Umm.. sat I woke up at 6am to go to work till 11pm.. then stopped at home and went to kates.. we watched anchorman and went to sleep it was nice to be there and spend some time. Today went to church and now Im gonna go to gmas and then after that Im hanging out with the girls-- so amped for that cause I havent seen my SJ I think since like.. summer time. I cant wait-- Alrite Ill talk to u all later have a wonderful day.
It's just like you to contest wear it like a label on your breast dont you see what this takes of me? I want to give you whatever you need.. what is it you need.. is it within me.. It's hard to explain how I am getting by on so little from you It's hard to believe that I would let myself get so wrapped into you-----
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| hopeful for today. |
[14 Jan 2005|12:32pm] |
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So yeah this week went okay. Finals are over with and thats a HUGE weight lifted off my shoulders but you know. Last night I was gonna hang out with kate but that didnt work.. so em and me went to ian and cjs. That was fun.. even though they didnt like the movie, lol, we always have fun over there. <3. So yeah today woke up and sat around.. em and me are gonna go to fridays cause she has a gift certificate.. OUR CHEESECAKE ohhhhh yes. There arent even words to say how good that stuff is... its our tradition. Tonight Im so amped.. its the TEC reunion and I cant wait. This is like what got me through the week, knowing that Id be able to see everybody again at the end of the wk. Im so excited. Me and kelly and meg are gonna have a blastttttt--- ADHFASKLDFA cant wait. But yeah Im gonna go so Im not late to fridays..
Im busting out the black people music cause few who shall remain un-named got me influenced.
Haha.. Have a good day everybody.
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| all the things left undiscovered. |
[12 Jan 2005|02:10pm] |
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So yeah its been a while since Ive updated but lifes also been crazy so ya. This wknd was amazing, and I would go back in an instant.. I really wish I could. There is tons I could go into about that but I dont want to cause I dont even know how to explain it and there are only few people who understand. Since Ive gotten home I have to say that things have been just curveballs thrown at me and I dont know why but you cant do anything so theres no use in worrying about it. I just really.. I dunno. I wish I could be happy, content, strong, beautiful, loved, etc and who knows if Ill get there but what can you do. I just feel really lost and empty and disgusting to the eye and I dunno.. Im sure Ill get better I just miss the wknd and the feeling that I had. Ya cant say that I listen to coldplay alot but the words 'nobody said it was easy no one ever said it would be this hard' seem really fitting. Ya so Im a nutcase and I probably just said too much and am talking out of my butt but Im gonna go.. its probably the stress from finals. Im gonna go gotta work later. eh. Love you all.<3.
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